Accept No Substitutes

Short story

2010-10-03T22:00:00.000-05:00

He said that even death couldn't stop him, so when his heart gave out, they strapped him to a rocket. Some people always have to be right.

Pastiche or Plagiarism?

2010-06-23T15:30:00.000-05:00

Terry Kennedy forwarded the Prov staff this link today. It's about the digital generation and plagiarism. Read and discuss.

News

2010-04-28T14:01:00.001-05:00

I'm back! The recital went really well, and there are recordings posted on the sidebar if you wish to listen!

New things: a comic I've been reading for quite some time: Gunnerkrigg Court. This is a wonderfully-drawn comic that has an interesting story, is funny at times, and serious at others. Check it out!
A sample page for your viewing pleasure:

I also start student teaching tomorrow. Wish me luck - it's my first time with junior high kids!

Recital tomorrow!

2010-04-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

My trumpet recital is tomorrow, and I would love to see all of you there!

The recital is at 7:30 PM in Eva Clare Hall (at the U of M Faculty of Music). The program features works by Bernstein, Copland, Ewazen, Anderson, and more! The program also features Carole Pollard on piano, Meg Specht and Liz LaRue on clarinet, and Derek Fraser and Crystal Schwartz on trumpet.

See you tomorrow!

A must-see website for the internetically-challenged

2010-04-04T16:16:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have wanted to know more about why the internet works, this site is for you:

Know Your Meme

This site is dedicated to showing the inter-world exactly what happened to make those ridiculous internet phenomena (memes) happen. The episode on Autotune is particularly great.

Internet Time-Wasters

2010-03-19T15:07:00.000-05:00

Over the years, I have played many, many games on the Internet. Here is a list of my five most-played games, and a little blurb about them.

#1 - Desktop Tower Defense. This game is a classic tower defense game - bad guys try to get across the map, and you have to stop them by building various towers. This one is number one for me because you can change the path of the creeps by changing your tower placement.

#2: Eyezmaze. I have no idea what this site exactly is, but it has a few puzzle games that are extremely entertaining. Try to place the objects in the correct order to win.

#3: Robot Unicorn Attack. Aaron sent this one to me. Guide a robot unicorn across the land. Listen to with sound on.

#4: Dino Run. This game is similar to Robot Unicorn Attack - guide a dinosaur across the landscape to escape extinction.

#5: Pandemic 2. You try to create a disease that will wipe out humanity. Somewhat morbid, but fun to see how diseases spread across the world.

Only try these if you have spare time!

Twenty things worth knowing about beer

2010-03-01T23:43:00.001-06:00

(click click - warning, some language)

A new site

2010-03-01T23:37:00.000-06:00

I discovered a new site a few months ago. It's quite great. It's called The Oatmeal. Some examples of its goodness:

Go here

Or here

Or read this joke:

Q: What was Beethoven's favourite fruit?

A: Ba-na-na-naaaaaaaaaa! (it was his 5th favourite...)

From Alena

2010-02-25T00:58:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI

Watch this video if you want to laugh.

Goals

2010-02-25T00:55:00.002-06:00

Goals for the next two weeks:

Finish all my projects for Teaching Music in the Senior Years (4 pages of papers, 10 minutes of teaching, and preparation of a resource binder)
Finish all my projects for Aboriginal Ed (45-minute group presentation, site visit, and two 6-7 page papers on the previous two tasks)

Goals for the next month:

FOUR HOURS OF PRACTICE A DAY. Can I do it? I think so. Keep me accountable, please!

Also, I have a recital on April 15th at 7:30 PM in Eva Clare Hall (Faculty of Music Building, University of Manitoba). Please mark this on your calendars!

Hockey, the Swiss, and Steinbach

2010-02-20T09:55:00.000-06:00

From Ace Burpee's blog (re: the Canadian almost-loss to the Swiss two nights ago):

"Never underestimate anyone from Steinbach".

Olympics

2010-02-19T22:48:00.000-06:00

This just in: Canada's newest Gold medalist: Jon Montgomery, of Russell, Manitoba, in the Men's Skeleton. How great is it that the winner of a sport where you throw yourself headfirst down a hill is from the Prairies?

Blog updated!

2010-02-17T23:14:00.000-06:00

Nothing fancy here, just a new template. The old one made older posts disappear, and it was time for a change anyways. What do you think?

XKCD of the Day

2010-02-16T22:11:00.002-06:00

2009: A Year In Review

2010-01-05T02:28:00.001-06:00

It's 2010. How weird is that? I remember sitting back during the '90's and wondering what life would be like in the next millennium. I remember the days before the Internet, before the day of the ubiquitous cell-phone, before Facebook and Twitter and Tim Horton's and Starbucks being on every single block of Winnipeg. But that was so 20th century. Let's talk about last year.

Looking back, 2009 has been an important year for me in many ways. Here are a few significant events:

Winter 2009. I started running at the gym. It is a very fulfilling endeavour.

Spring 2009 - I had my first ever teaching practicum at John Taylor Collegiate. What an experience! This 6-week teaching block reaffirmed my desire to teach, and gave me immense amounts of ideas and material.

Summer 2009 - two things. I spent July and August at 4 Wing Cold Lake teaching music to Cadets. This was an important time for me as I got to spend the summer doing work that I love, as well as a time for me to live on my own. Second, Aaron and Caitlin got married - which was a blast, and it was the first wedding of my close friends.

Fall 2009 - many things (not just because it is more recent and my memory is failing me. Get off my lawn!). I worked hard all summer and won a spot in the U of M Symphony Orchestra. This was important to me as I had set a goal for myself and worked hard to achieve it. Francesco and Amalia got engaged. I got baptized in October. I played in the Concerto Competition. I made some new friends and got closer with the old. I survived Swine Flu and lived to talk about it.

Some favourites from last year:

Music (pop/rock). This year, I discovered Sufjan Stevens and Regina Spektor. A friend from Cold Lake gave me Stevens' Michigan and I heard Spektor's The Calculation on CBC Radio Two, and immediately went out and bought the album. Maybe I'm a little late getting to Stevens and Spektor, but I am still really enjoying their music. I finally listened to Thriller in its entirety, too.

Music (classical). After a year of 20th Century Music classes, my horizons have expanded significantly. I rediscovered John Adams this year, played a lot of Eric Ewazen, and, thanks to Orchestra, have been discovering classical orchestral repertoire (something that, for some reason, I didn't really care for until this year). I played Haydn 101 (The Clock) and Wagner's Siegfried Idyll, and those were fantastic, got to see Tchaikovsky 4 at the WSO, and am playing Schumann 3 (Rhenish).

TV and movies. I didn't do a lot of TV-watching this year, but I did watch my way through a few seasons of House, which was fantastic. I stopped after season 3, and didn't continue, but life gets in the way. Futurama also continues to be a favourite. I saw the Half-Blood Prince and Avatar in theatres, watched Up on Blu-Ray. I finally watched Dr. Strangelove, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Godfather, Full Metal Jacket, and Mean Girls.

Games. I finally got my hands on a copy of Twilight Princess for Gamecube, and have been enjoying it immensely. I played through Link to the Past again, which was also fantastic. For board games, I have really been enjoying Apples to Apples and Ticket to Ride.

Relationships. No "significant others" last year, but I did make new connections and deepen many existing friendships (probably a better choice). I am especially grateful for my Bible Study Friends (tm) and Ginger, Alyssa, and Elise - you guys host great parties! And, as always, for the guys, for many nights of crashing in Andrew's basement playing Mario Kart.

Looking ahead. I have no idea what 2010 will hold for me. My goals at the moment are to run more, to practice more, and to gain the wisdom to know what is truly important in life.

Here's to 2009, and best wishes for 2010!

New fun stuff

2009-11-21T23:49:00.000-06:00

Two new sites I discovered that are amazing:

Mystery google

My life is average

QC of the Day #8

2009-10-11T23:38:00.002-05:00

QC of the Day #7

2009-09-19T10:22:00.003-05:00

I'm back

2009-08-23T17:03:00.001-05:00

After a grueling 14-hour drive, I'm back in Winnipeg for good. More on that later.
Biggest development of the summer? I fell in love with Regina Spektor.

Reflections on my practicum.

2009-06-21T22:54:00.003-05:00

Here are a few things that I learned from my first student teaching placement:

1. The primary role of the director is to listen at all times.

2. Sectionals are extremely important, but should not be places for students to learn their notes and rhythms. Instead, sectionals should be used as time spent working on instrument-specific things and doing chamber rep. Sectionals are also a place for students to develop independently from the director.

3. Make sure that you have food that you can eat quickly - you never know when you'll end up missing lunch.

4. Take the time to have everyone in your bands play percussion once in a while - it works so many different aspects of musicianship.

5. Build a 3 or 4-year plan for repertoire, and figure out what you value as the basis for the repertoire you choose.

6. Focusing on balance and blend usually solves intonation problems.

7. Bloom's Mastery Learning - do not continue until a concept/skill has been fully understood and a student can demonstrate proficiency.

8. Teach articulation styles with letters for tonguing - T t D d L l.

9. When presented with problems, ascertain whether the problem is with a concept or a skill. If it is a concept problem, talk through it until everyone understands. If it is a skill problem, then drill, drill, drill.

10. In rehearsal, focus on one concept (balance, blend, crescendo and decrescendo, tone matching, etc), and teach the concept after the warm-up and rehearse sections in the repertoire that the students will need that concept for. This approach focuses your rehearsal and reinforces learning better than trying to fix everything at once.

11. Don't try to fix everything at once. (see above).

12. A good lesson plan outline: Warm-up, Lesson, Technique, Repertoire.

13. The Rule of Swing Phrasing - emphasize (tongue) the first, highest, and last notes in a phrase.

14. Wait time is perfectly acceptable. Make sure you have collected your thoughts before you say anything - otherwise you run the risk of babbling or saying something you regret.

15. Be as efficient as you can with what you say in class.

16. Check your ego at the door. Once you enter the school, your first responsibility is to the students. Constantly ask the questions, "What is best for the students? What do the students want? What do the students need?"

17. Don't try to make fewer bad decisions. Instead, strive to make more good decisions.

18. Many discipline problems will disappear if your pacing is good.

19. Never, ever talk over students - you will hurt your voice and then have to repeat what you said. Wait until you have everyone's full attention before you speak.

20. The podium is for conducting, not for teaching.

21. Developing a chamber program is the key to having strong, independent musicians.

22. Realize whether you are being a band director or a music educator.

23. Always remember why you got into music - it is fun and interesting to play!

24. Be prepared for anything - you may find yourself in the role of a stagehand/roadie, a guidance counsellor, or anything in between.

25. Above all, the students are the only important part of our job. Strive for compassion, kindness, love, and mercy. Try to get to know each student individually. Take a genuine interest in who they are. See them for who they are, but also for who they can be. We don't teach band - we teach life through music. Through music, we enrich our students' lives and teach them a way to make sense of the world.

In other news, I'm leaving bright and early for Cold Lake, Alberta for the summer. I'm teaching music to Cadets there. Wish me luck and send me mail! Message me if you'd like my mailing address - I'd love to hear from you!

See you in the fall!

QC of the Day #5

2009-06-19T11:04:00.003-05:00

A 2-parter. Hannelore is definitely my all-time favourite character. Enjoy!

QC of the Day #3

2009-06-09T22:52:00.002-05:00

Look Around You

2009-05-12T21:35:00.001-05:00

Arutunian Trumpet Concerto

2009-04-13T17:36:00.003-05:00

I am preparing for my jury next week, so I am recording myself playing my rep. Any constructive criticism is welcome (or comments, seeing as how most of you haven't heard me play for 3 or 4 years). This is a section of the Concerto for Trumpet and Orchestra by Alexander Arutunian (b. 1920).

QC of the Day #3

2009-04-02T14:48:00.001-05:00

I'm officially a loser

2009-03-22T00:58:00.000-05:00

I ordered some Philip Glass today. How lame is that? :)

QC #2

2009-03-21T22:51:00.000-05:00

For everyone in 20th century.

QC of the Day.

2009-03-21T15:41:00.002-05:00

From www.questionablecontent.net.

Something fun

2009-03-07T14:04:00.000-06:00

From Meg: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year (2009).
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something over the internet. It may be a mixed CD. It may be a poem. It may be a felt mouse or a triple-chocolate cake or a handful of origami wish-stars. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! (not me either)
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

Here's the fine print:

In return, all you need to do is post this text into a note of your own and make 5 things for 5 others.

A thought

2009-02-07T09:05:00.002-06:00

After attending and performing at most of this week's New Music Festival in Winnipeg, I was forced to conclude that most people don't understand what "new music" is. When most people think of "new music" in the Western art world (read: Classical music), they think of really weird, almost unlistenable sounds.

Here is a quick primer to understand what makes "new music" tick. You might even find something to use in a non-classical music style as well!

New Music is based on this principle: All sound is music. This principle came out of composers trying to take music in new directions after the first World War. This led first to new systems, such as Schoenberg's twelve-tone rows, and later, the serialism of Boulez and Stockhausen, and also to new conceptions of what music should sound like. A turning point in this stream is Varese's Ionization, which was written for a percussion ensemble.

After Varese, composers took the sound of music even further - people began writing music that included extended playing techniques, such as clicking the keys on a flute, or tapping a violin body, or even hitting the strings inside of a piano with a mallet! This led to a greatly expanded sound palette that composers could draw from, and an increased understanding of how a sound or texture could be a melody (rather than a series of notes).

I could go into more detail, but for the sake of keeping your interest, I'll stop here and let you read up on things for yourself if you are interested - Wiki John Cage for a good read.

So, to understand listening to "new music", first think this: What do I hear? Don't judge immediately. Try to identify the sounds that you are hearing. Also listen for musical ideas that keep coming back. Next, think "What does this sound like?". Does this sound mimic anything I have heard before? What kind of emotions or feelings does this sound evoke in me? After you have thought about those things, then you can judge for yourself whether you appreciated the piece.

Now go out and listen to some new music!

Fail!

2009-01-12T23:09:00.002-06:00

From failblog.org

Girls

2009-01-04T23:22:00.000-06:00

Girls

Excerpted from "The Dangerous Book for Boys".

You may already have noticed that girls are quite different from you. By this, we do not mean the physical differences, more the fact that they remain unimpressed by your mastery of a game involving wizards, or your understanding of Morse Code. Some will be impressed, of course, but as a general rule, girls do not get quite as excited by the use of urine as a secret ink as boys do.

We thought long and hard about what advice could possibly be suitable. It is an inescapable fact that boys spend a great deal of their lives thinking and dreaming about girls, so the subject should be mentioned here – as delicately as possible.

Advice about Girls

1. It is important to listen. Human beings are often very self-centred and like to talk about themselves. In addition, it’s an easy subject if someone is nervous. It is good advice to listen closely – unless she has also been given this advice, in which case an uneasy silence could develop, like two owls sitting together.

2. Be careful with humour. It is very common for boys to try to impress girls with a string of jokes, each one more desperate than the last. One joke, perhaps, and then a long silence while she talks about herself…

3. When you are older, flowers really do work – women love them. When you are young, however, there is a ghastly sense of being awkward rather than romantic – and she will guess your mother bought them.

4. Valentine’s Day cards. Do not put your name on them. The whole point is the excitement a girl feels, wondering who finds her attractive. If it says ‘From Brian’ on it, the magic isn’t really there. This is actually quite a nice thing to do to someone you don’t think will get a card. If you do this, it is even more important that you never say, ‘I sent you one because I thought you wouldn’t get any.’ Keep the cards simple. You do not want one with padding of any kind.

5. Avoid being vulgar. Excitable bouts of wind-breaking will not endear you to a girl, just to pick one example.

6. Play sport of some kind. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it replaces the corpse-like pallor of the computer programmer with a ruddy glow. Honestly, this is more important than you know.

7. If you see a girl in need of help – unable to lift something, for example – do not taunt her. Approach the object and greet her with a cheerful smile, whilst surreptitiously testing the weight of the object. If you find you can lift it, go ahead. If you can’t, try sitting on it and engaging her in conversation.

8. Finally, make sure you are well-scrubbed, your nails are clean and your hair is washed. Remember that girls are as nervous around you as you are around them, if you can imagine such a thing. They think and act rather differently to you, but without them, life would be one long rugby locker room. Treat them with respect.

Fun Fact of the Day

2009-01-02T16:41:00.001-06:00

Fun Fact of the Day (TM): K-Tel is based in Winnipeg.

2008 In Review

2008-12-29T11:46:00.003-06:00

Although 2008 isn't done yet, it seems close enough to look back at what happened. Here are some of the major things that happened to me this year:

Started playing and listening to (almost) exclusively classical music. I think that this started in Wind Ensemble last year when we played things like Shostakovich's Festive Overture, Rhapsody in Blue, and the Pines of Rome. I knew that this year we would be playing Holst's Planets, and so in preparation I bought a whole bunch of CDs to help me learn. And I really, really liked them! I haven't purchased a jazz CD since the summer, but have gotten many classical CDs. Not that I don't listen to jazz anymore, but I have discovered a deep love for classical music. This has filtered into my trumpet playing as well - I sound more like a classical player too. I guess that this is probably because I now know what type of sound I want to emulate - a full, rich, dark, deep sound.

Camps - I worked at Prov Arts Camp again this summer, which was nothing new, but I also spent 2 weeks at Gem Lake Bible Camp - a camp without electricity on an island in northern Manitoba where I worked with inner-city kids. Quite an experience, I have to say. Also, I attended the U of M trumpet camp, where I got to work with Ronald Romm (of the Canadian Brass) and Chase Sanborn (from U of T). It was worth every penny, and I will be back next year.

Other music - I had my first commission - three of my friends asked me to write them a piece, and they premiered it in April. That was really exciting!

Friends - This year I was very privileged to meet Francesco's girlfriend Amalia and all of her friends. Even though Francesco is in Africa, Amalia has made sure that Andrew and I are still a part of her and her friends' lives, which is super cool. I wish I saw my friends from Prov more, but I realize that we're all in different places now. And I'm very thankful for my friends from Bible Study.

Other interesting things I did for the first time this year: Got into wall climbing (thanks Nate and Francesco), recorded my first CD (with the Wind Ensemble), got a laptop, hiked in the snow, learned how to drive standard.

Favourites:
Book: JPod by Douglas Coupland
Movie: WALL-E
New restaurant: Dim Sum Garden
CD: Morten Lauridsen: Lux Aeterna, Madrigali, Latin Motets (as recorded by Stephen Layton and Polyphony)
Concert: Wynton Marsalis and the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra, at the Winnipeg Jazz Festival (for jazz), The Planets, by Gustav Holst, performed by the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra
Course: Music of the 20th Century, taught by Dr. Paul Guise
Video game: Persona 3, and Persona 4 is probably going to be my game of 2009 because that's when I'll finish it!

What I'm looking forward to in 2009:
Student teaching!
20th Century Music II
Wind Ensemble Trip to Calgary
Francesco returning from Africa (and Tim and Justin later in the year)
Having my arrangement of Lauridsen's "O Magnum Mysterium" played by the Wind Ensemble in January
Meeting new people and becoming closer with people I already know

That's my year in review. To sum up, I have to quote my friend Dann: "2008? More like 2000-GREAT!"

Happy New Year!

Your input required

2008-11-24T19:13:00.002-06:00

Rejected X-Men powers. Your input required.

Here are a few to get you started:

1. The ability to age rapidly.
2. The ability to go without blinking.
3. Being able to converse with inanimate objects. Problem is, they're inanimate so they can't talk back.
4. Being able to see two seconds into the future.
5. PG-ray vision (instead of X-Ray).

Concert

2008-11-22T13:06:00.001-06:00

Hi all,
The Wind Ensemble is presenting a concert full of Gustav Holst's music. This includes Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, A Dirge for Two Veterans (featuring the Bison Men's chorus), and First Suite in Eb. It is from 8-10 on Friday, November 28th at MBCI (Jubilee Place). Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for students at the door.
Hope to see you all there!

realizations

2008-11-01T07:19:00.003-05:00

I just realized that the version of Rhapsody In Blue I have on Ronald and Avis Romm's CD "Living The Dream" was arranged by Timothy Dokshitzer. This is the arrangement that they tell stories about. Wow.

Another time-waster

2008-10-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

This has been eating much of my time. But it's fun!

McCain Vs Obama

Risk it all and use superior tactics to win the Presidential Election

Play this free game now!!

This just in...

2008-10-18T17:47:00.002-05:00

Jack Thompson has been disbarred by the Florida Supreme Court due to inappropriate conduct. It comes into effect on October 25th.

If you don't know who this is or why you should be excited, this post probably isn't for you. If you're curious, then wiki him.

...sigh

2008-10-14T00:58:00.003-05:00

Ugh. I just finished two journal entries for Teaching The Arts in the Senior Years, so I am all caught up now. I feel like I still haven't learned anything from that class that I don't already know. I'm doing my best to keep an open mind, though. This week's readings pointed me to www.wefeelfine.org which is a really neat site, and an exercise in transmediation (20 bonus points for me using an Educational Strategy (tm) ).

So, tomorrow is Election Day. I'm facing a dilemma that I haven't had to face yet. Now, those of you who know me know that I usually vote for the blue team. However, the captain of the blue team made some remarks that made me very unhappy (about the arts). So, I really dislike said captain now. However, I think that the red, yellow, green, and french teams do not jive with my economic/political views. Also, they may or may not destroy the country if they get in. But I'm sick of minority governments because they can't actually accomplish anything. And I think that the blue team is probably the best one to see us through our current economic turmoil. But I don't like the blue captain, once again. However, I have to vote, because if I don't vote, then I feel that I am not entitled to complain about the government.

WHAT DO I DO?????

p.s. happy thanksgiving, all! I am very thankful for my friends and family, who never cease to amaze me in many different ways.

Classical Music for you to listen to.

2008-09-12T17:21:00.003-05:00

Here are some "classical" pieces that I have become familiar with over the last few months. You should acquaint yourself with them if you can.

The Planets - Gustav Holst

First Suite in Eb - Holst

Second Suite in F - Holst

Quiet City - Aaron Copland

Sonata for Trumpet and Piano - Paul Hindemith

O Magnum Mysterium - Morten Lauridsen

Quintet - Michael Kamen (for the Canadian Brass)

Sonata Pathetique - Ludwig von Beethoven

Phrygian Gates - John Adams

Symphonies 1-9 - Gustav Mahler

This should be enough to get you going for a while.

Requiem

2008-07-15T22:58:00.005-05:00

Requiem

Matt Neufeld

Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis. Te decet hymnus Deus, in Sion, et tibi reddetur votum in Ierusalem. Exaudi orationem meam; ad te omnis caro veniet. Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Rest was a luxury not afforded to me.

Kyrie eleison.

My life was spent for the sake of those I served.

Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine; In memoria æterna erit justus, ab auditione mala non timebit.

Seeking shelter for the displaced, balm for the wounded, justice for the powerless.

Absolve, Domine, animas omnium fidelium defunctorum ab omno vinculo delictorum et gratia tua illis succurente mereantur evadere iudicium ultionis, et lucis æterne beatitudine perfrui.

I was faithful to my country.

Dies iræ! dies illa solvet sæclum in favilla teste David cum Sibylla!

I shed my life’s blood for them.

Lacrimosa dies illa, qua resurget ex favilla judicandus homo reus. Huic ergo parce, Deus.

No tears were shed for me.

Domine, Jesu Christe, Rex gloriæ, libera animas omnium fidelium defunctorum de pœnis inferni et de profundo lacu. Libera eas de ore leonis, ne absorbeat eas tartarus, ne cadant in obscurum; sed signifer sanctus Michæl repræsentet eas in lucem sanctam, quam olim Abrahæ promisisti et semini ejus.

I, a soldier, served my people.

Hostias et preces tibi, Domine, laudis offerimus; tu suscipe pro animabus illis, quarum hodie memoriam facimus. Fac eas, Domine, de morte transire ad vitam. Quam olim Abrahæ promisisti et semini ejus.

My nation, in turn, betrayed me.

Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus, Dominus Deus Sabaoth; pleni sunt coeli et terra gloria tua.

To restore my honour, remember me.

Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini.

Remember who I served, and the zeal I had for their well-being.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem.

Though war is distasteful to many, letting innocents suffer is a grave sin.

Lux æterna luceat eis, Domine, cum sanctis tuis in æternum, quia pius es.

If you value my sacrifice, then do this:

Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine; et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Cherish my life, poured out for you.

Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem.

Then I can rest.

Amen.

This is another piece that I wrote for my introductory creative writing course. For a translation of the Latin, you can go to the Wikipedia site for the Requiem mass. Comments are much appreciated, as this may go on to be published (I hope).

Also, I'm at Gem Lake Bible Camp for the next 10 days. No electricity/internet. See you in 10 days!

New post on Sojourn

2008-06-30T15:19:00.003-05:00

New post on Sojourn. Check it out!

Canadian Brass

2008-06-22T17:05:00.001-05:00

From the Canadian Brass: a Quintet by film composer Michael Kamen (Die Hard, X-Men, Mr. Holland's Opus). From the Magic Horn CD.

Isn't this neat?

2008-06-20T16:50:00.002-05:00

The USB MSN Missile Launcher. A foam missile launcher that has a webcam, and can be operated from anywhere if you have a MSN account.
Neat, eh?

The Collector

2008-05-23T17:08:00.002-05:00

The Collector

Matt Neufeld

Everyone collects something. Some people collect stamps, others gather antique furniture, and others amass hundreds of those hideous Anne Geddes pictures. You know, the ones where they have babies dressed up as fruit or animals. My friend Steve collects insects. Big ones, little ones, purple, green, hairy, slimy – you name it, he’s got them all. He travels all over the world to find these things. You might say he’s a closet entomologist.

I first met Steve at a party hosted by my friend Mary. Mary is one of those people who has friends in every corner of the city, no matter where you look, so there were dozens of people I didn’t know milling about her place. Big place with a pool, six bedrooms, palm trees that were lit by artistically hidden spotlights when it got dark. You know, real swanky place. Mary liked her things to be first-class, and her friends at the party were no exception. She had doctors and lawyers, musicians and poets, and even some obscure city officials. People with big jobs, and egos to match. All really interesting people, really. I loved coming to Mary’s parties. But I digress.

The first thing I noticed about Steve was his hair. He had normal reddish-brown hair like lots of other guys, but the thing that stuck out was this shock of pure white right in the middle of his forehead. It was fascinating. He must have caught me staring, because he came up to me and introduced himself. Steve pointed to the top of his head, and made a crack about buying the wrong conditioner by mistake. We both laughed, and Steve said something about the pigmentation in his head being miscoded or something like that.

I asked Steve about his job, and he said that his job was to take pictures.

“Pictures of what?” I asked.

“Bugs.”

Turns out Steve was actually a photographer for National Geographic. His job was to travel all over the world taking pictures of rare insects for posterity. He had photographed everything from the mighty Ornithoptera euphorion to the rare Orthetrum cancellatum. Steve had pictures of himself covered in fire ants from head to toe, ones of him eating termites, and ones where he was holding a cockroach the size of his forearm. It was fascinating, I must admit. Steve’s claim to fame was his photographing this rare weevil that only lives in a six-square-kilometer area in the depths of the Peruvian jungle. I think he won an award for it in Annual Entomologist or some fancy journal like that.

The other interesting thing about Steve is that if you look really hard, and maybe squint a little bit, he looks a bit like a beetle. He had these glasses that were round and a little tinted, and a round head and body to match, so you could kind of imagine the shape. That night, he even had a sweater draped around his shoulders so it looked like he had two extra arms! You should have seen it – he was the perfect specimen.

The party didn’t last that long – all these important people had people to see, places to be, important things to do, so around nine o’clock, Steve and I found ourselves to be the last people at the party. I had been hanging out with Steve for most of the evening, and we seemed to get along well, so I invited him over to my place for beers and photos. I’m a bit of an amateur photographer as well – nothing really fancy, but I did have a picture of this dog published once. The dog wasn’t anything special, but there were about four of them that looked almost exactly the same. I submitted it to the Friar – our local “coffee news” paper. They published it with the caption…well, it’s not important. What is important is the fact that I had a photo published as well, and I figured that maybe Steve could give me some pointers.

We arrived at my place around ten (I had to say my goodbyes to Mary), and I pulled out my photos. Steve had a few of his along as well, so we started comparing. I grabbed us some beers from the kitchen (Coors Lite – not my favourite, but I figured I should save the good stuff for later), poured them into glasses, and started talking about photos with Steve. He showed me some pictures of his collections. Bugs behind glass, every one on a pin, neatly labelled with common name, Latin name, and date and place of collection. From the look of it, Steve was quite the collector as well. All his bugs were dead, though. I asked him why there weren’t any live ones.

Steve pondered for a minute. “Because,” he said, “they are more interesting when they are dead. You can see them from all sides. Plus you don’t have to feed them anymore.”

“Hmm.” I mused. “That makes sense.”

We sat in silence for a while, pondering.

We talked for a bit about families – Steve’s brother lived a few counties over, he didn’t have a girlfriend but he did have a dog, and he thought Mary was cute. I agreed on that.

After more interesting conversation, Steve decided that he should head home soon. I poured one last beer for him, this one out of my special stock (Guinness, the ones I use when I have special company).

“To collecting.”

“Cheers.”

I excused myself for a minute. Nature was calling, and I had to think about what Steve had said. And about the bugs. I’ve never liked bugs. Too small for me. What use is something that you can step on?

I came back to the living room.

“Steve?”

I heard a thump, and I saw motion in the corner of the room. There was Steve, foaming at the mouth, crawling towards the door. I looked him straight in the eye.

“Cheers.”

Now Steve is sitting behind glass in my basement. I even labelled it and everything. Steven MacAllister, Homo Sapiens. May 16, 2008. My place. I thought he would fit best near the front beside Mary. It only made sense. I may try to see if I can get his brother next. Maybe his dog, too. After all, everyone collects something.

I couldn't resist posting this.

2008-05-21T21:59:00.002-05:00

From "Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms":

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

Aargh. Is it even possible to respond to this?

!!!!!

2008-05-20T16:16:00.000-05:00

From the Winnipeg Free Press:

A four-time graduate of the University of Manitoba is now its biggest philanthropist after donating $20 million to the university's school of music.

Marcel Desautels, former president and CEO of Creditel of Canada Ltd., the largest commercial credit information and debt recovery provider in the country, announced his gift this morning at the Fort Garry campus.

Desautels, who had previously donated $6 million to the U of M and millions more to McGill University and the University of Toronto through his foundation, tried to downplay the donation. He said it paled in comparison to the $47 million recently allocated by the province to the U of M’s Project Domino campus renovation plan.

Desautels said it was a natural to donate the money to the school, which has now been renamed the Marcel A. Desautels Faculty of Music.

“I have four degrees from (the U of M),” he said. “I believe when you’ve been fortunate in life, you have an obligation to give back.”

Wow. Just...wow.

More XKCD goodness

2008-05-13T22:05:00.002-05:00

From xkcd

2008-04-28T01:03:00.003-05:00

Complaints, or Why the CBC is awesome.

2008-04-09T19:22:00.001-05:00

This definitely restored my faith in the CBC, and in Canadians in general.

lol

2008-04-07T02:24:00.002-05:00

Some lolcats to brighten your day!

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

see more crazy cat pics

Have a good week!

Better Late than Never

2008-04-02T16:02:00.002-05:00

I found out about this yesterday, and just had to post. Here's a link to an article about a chimpanzee that was taught to play clarinet!

Something else awesome

2008-04-02T01:17:00.003-05:00

Check this out.

This is the Legend of Zelda Overworld theme on a theremin. Don't know what a theremin is? Look it up!

What is this?

2008-03-12T19:02:00.002-05:00

Apparently Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee's campaign for the Republican nomination. Why is Mike Huckabee not President right now?

New post

2008-01-02T11:44:00.000-06:00

New post on Sojourn. Check it out.

An oldie but a goodie

2007-12-03T23:40:00.000-06:00

I found this a few years ago. It's still good.

T minus 15 pages of papers and 20 minutes of a conducting video and counting. And one exam.

Also

2007-12-02T01:45:00.000-06:00

Also, I love brass quintet.

Pirated...or not

2007-12-02T01:29:00.001-06:00

Stumbled across a strange, strange site when looking up links to my pages...apparently a song I posted to sibeliusmusic.com has been linked at this weird site. My favourite part: "Click here for sexy videos of Matt Neufeld - "Together At Last". Scroll down to see it.
This song, "Together At Last", was something I wrote years ago at Prov to play around with Rhythm changes, and then forgot. We played it once at a World Music Group concert and haven't played it since.

Academia

2007-11-27T00:47:00.001-06:00

As requested by Aaron, here is a list of all the courses I have taken in a post-secondary setting. These are arranged alphabetically.

Acoustics of Music
Band & Orchestral Techniques 1
Band & Orchestral Techniques 2
Beginning Acting
Bible Study Methods
Brass Quintet
College Singers
Conducting
Directed Study in Composition
Environmental Science
Faith and Reason
Instrumental Ensemble
Intro to Judaic Studies
Intro to the New Testament
Intro to the Old Testament
Introduction to Christianity
Introduction to Composition
Jazz Band
Jewish Religious Texts
Literature Since 1900
Major English Writers
Mission Issues Today
Musicianship I
Musicianship II
Music History 1
Music History 2
Music History 3
Music History 4
Music in Christian Worship
Music Rudiments
Music Skills III
Music Skills IV
Music Theory I
Music Theory II
Music Theory III
Music Theory IV
Philosophical Foundations for Studying Theology
Piano Lessons
Recital
Spiritual Formation
Trumpet Lessons
Vocal Ensemble: Veritas
Voice Lessons
Wind Ensemble

Being in music, many of the courses I have taken were repeated many times (for example, I took voice lessons for six semesters, and will have taken trumpet lessons for 4 at the end of this year).

Wow. I feel old now. Something about my courses - my favourite courses I have taken are Philosophical Foundations, Music Theory IV, Intro to Composition, and Band & Orchestral Techniques. Honourable mentions - Major English Writers and all my ensemble courses (Wind Ensemble, Brass Quintet, Veritas, Jazz band, etc). Philosophical Foundations and Music Theory IV (at CMU) changed the way that I think. I would not view things the same if I had not taken these courses. Intro to Composition has me writing music and learning about different techniques, and I really like it, and Band & Orchestral Techniques is teaching me how to be a band teacher. These get the top spots for being incredibly fun, well-taught, and useful for life. My honourable mentions didn't make the top, but were a lot of fun, and educational, too.

Courses I wish I didn't take - Environmental Science (What was I thinking? This class was completely useless and I did not learn a single thing, despite getting an A), Beginning Acting (didn't learn anything new), and Mission Issues Today (my mom is a missionary, so also nothing new). Faith and Reason was also pretty useless, but I can't remember why at the time.

Total credit hours at the end of this year: 150.
Total credit hours at the end of 2011: approximately 250.

Classes I've wanted to take but haven't had time: Calculus. Yes, Calculus. I'm a sucker for punishment. Also, more philosophy.

It's really neat to look back. I encourage you to post your class lists, and talk about what they've meant to you!

Play

2007-11-25T15:10:00.000-06:00

YouTubed!

2007-10-29T00:45:00.001-05:00

The U of M Wind Ensemble, which I am a part of, recently performed at the U of M. A trombone player's mom filmed the concert, and posted it on YouTube. Here's the link. The music sounds decent, but you see a lot of one certain trombonist. His name is Dann. Enjoy!

Who Is John Galt?

2007-10-09T04:06:00.000-05:00

More to come once I have had time to digest.

Inspired

2007-09-29T16:11:00.000-05:00

Today we had a Wind Ensemble workshop at Vincent Massey Collegiate. I came into it expecting the usual - work on repertoire, learn some tricks about playing trumpet, stuff like that. I came out of the workshop with much more than I expected.
At the beginning of the workshop, Jackie Dawson (our conductor) gave us a talk on "Music: What's in it for me?". She talked about how music is a gift that we give, and how this gift is best when we give it away. She also talked about the passion that is in music, and about remembering that we love what we do. I was really inspired by this , and by the rest of the workshop.
The trumpets went off and had a sectional with Jeff Johnson, and he was a fantastic clinician. We actually didn't do a ton of playing, but he talked to us about music and teaching and making music. I probably got a lot more long-term valuable stuff out of this than I would have if we would have spent more time playing.
After this, we had a brass sectional with Steve Dyer - who is fantastic as well, but this was mostly "work on your parts" - but Steve is great as well.
And lastly, I had lunch (graciously provided by the U of M...I think), and then I had a repertoire test with Jackie Dawson. This is the part of the day that I will remember most, because I actually got to spend some time one-on-one with Jackie. And I was thoroughly impressed and humbled by her - somewhat by the fact that she is an amazing conductor and director, and knows her stuff through and through, and how to get her musicians to improve, but mostly because I could totally tell that she cares about me, and that she is genuinely happy to have me as a part of her ensemble. Even though she really only talked with me today, I was blown away by the fact that she knew who I was, and even knew some stuff about me, even though I had never told her.
This is what being a musician and a teacher is all about. Because of Jackie taking the time to find out a bit about me, I am now inspired to be the best I can be, and I genuinely feel like I belong in the ensemble.
Jackie Dawson has officially been added to my list of "People I Admire". You're probably not reading this, but, thank you, Jackie Dawson, for making me feel like I am important. I hope I can do the same for everyone else.

the new guy at Prov

2007-09-03T11:02:00.001-05:00

If any of you reading this are still at Prov, look up my brother, Jon Mark. I'm leaving in 30 minutes to bring him there for the year.
A side note: I'm very excited that Jon Mark is going to Prov - I've been trying to get him there for a few years.

Cool!

2007-08-05T10:19:00.001-05:00

I have been writing music for around 5 years now. Looking back on the stuff I've written, it's easy to see where I've improved, and especially what my influences have been. Aaron and I used to joke about how all my music sounded like video game music for a while, and it was sad but true! However, as I got more into jazz, I started writing more jazz. The first time my jazz pieces were performed was with the World Music Group in spring 2005. That summer, I wrote a piece for Amber as a going-away present (she was leaving for Germany for a year). The piece was called "Amber's Bounce", and it was my first somewhat well-written piece (OK, so jazz is easy to write if you know what you're doing because the form is so static). I also posted this piece on Sibeliusmusic.com for people to download and listen to.
So a few months ago, I got an email from someone I didn't know asking for permission to use this piece in a recital. I said yes, and today I got an email from the same person with a link to the YouTube video. So, I present to you, "Amber's Bounce", played by Gabriela Santander from Venezuela!

Bloggity bloggity blog

2007-07-26T18:55:00.000-05:00

It's been too long.
So here's an update.

First things first: Herbie Hancock and Dave Brubeck. Wow - both of these shows were absolutely amazing (please forgive my alliteration) - yet completely different. Kenny Garrett (an alto sax player) opened up for Hancock, and had the house rocking for an hour and a half (we were at the Burton Cummings). After Garrett, Herbie's band came on. Some of the highlights: Watermelon Man mixed in with a tune called "Seventeens", which was in 17/4 time, Maiden Voyage played as a piano-only ballad, Cantaloupe Island, some of the songs that Herbie co-wrote with John Mayer, and the encore, Chameleon, where Garrett came out to join Herbie's band (which was a quartet - piano, guitar, bass, and drums). This show was high-energy, featuring pure amazingness from all involved, and Herbie occasionally played a keytar. Best. Show. Ever.
I went to see Dave Brubeck a few days later...amazing, but in a completely different way. Bassist/vocalist Esperanza Spalding opened, and this time with a shorter set (30 minutes-ish). Wow - what a voice, and amazing bass chops as well. I think that she's probably only 25 or so, which is even more amazing. So, after Spalding, Dave Brubeck walks on stage. In contrast to Herbie Hancock, Brubeck doesn't say much. He sits down at the piano, and launches straight into "On The Sunny Side Of The Street", and lets his fingers do the talking. Apparently Brubeck turns 87 this year, and his other players looked equally decrepit, but they did not show their age in their playing. Brubeck whipped his way through a set that was mostly straight-ahead jazz, in contrast to Hancock's funk-filled extravaganza. Brubeck capped the night off with his trademark piece, "Take Five", and then played "Blue Rondo ala Turk" for the encore.
The best way to describe these shows: Herbie Hancock was a huge party with all your friends, with music pumping, and everyone dancing like mad. Dave Brubeck was an intelligent conversation with an old friend.

In other news, I moved out of my parents' house July 1st, into the basement of a house with Aaron. It's awesome, although if you have spare food, please send it our way.
I spent July 6-13 serving at Providence Arts Camp. I taught a class on Music and Worship, directed a small girls choir, and helped with the worship music. Good times were had by all - I'm planning on coming back to teach again next year.

In other other news, I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last Saturday morning at approximately 4:52 a.m. The verdict: this is the best book yet. And, holy crap, what a way to end the series! I will write about it later, but I don't want to post spoilers. If you read this, bug Aaron about finishing Half-Blood Prince, and then Deathly Hallows, because he owns it but is procrastinating reading it!

And...school starts in a month or so. And I'm very, very excited. Excited.

For those who complain about me never updating my blog...happy now?

Jazz Fest part I

2007-06-27T17:20:00.000-05:00

Went to see Herbie Hancock on Sunday with Andrew. Going to see Dave Brubeck tonight with Ashleigh.
I'll write about both of them soon...so keep reading!

Now I've heard everything

2007-06-20T17:26:00.000-05:00

I was on my way home from work, listening to CBC Radio 2 (it's the only radio station I will listen to nowadays), and what did I hear?
A jazz version of Scotland The Brave. With a jazz bagpiper. And a kick-ass rhythm section.
The player? Rufus Harley, who apparently died last summer. This guy was an accomplished jazz saxophonist who had guested with the likes of Sonny Rollins and Herbie Mann. This wasn't kitsch or something strange...it was straight-ahead jazz with bagpipes as the lead instrument. The best part? It was pretty good, too!

Now I've heard everything.

You see a gazebo...

2007-06-16T20:13:00.001-05:00

Ahhh...a blast from the past.

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About fifty yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about thirty feet across, fifteen feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a *)@#! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've woken up the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

Onwards and upwards

2007-06-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

So Aaron and I have a place set up for July 1st. It's on Clarence - near Q94 FM, just off of Pembina. If you have any house-related stuff you don't need anymore (This includes food), let me know!

Joining the ranks of the technologically savvy

2007-06-07T18:13:00.000-05:00

952-2486.
You know you waaaaant it.

Music reviews

2007-06-03T23:01:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been absolutely mesmerized by one particular artist: Brad Mehldau. Brad is a younger guy - born in 1970, and he is one of the best jazz pianists on the scene today. His style is nothing like I have heard before - he is definitely influenced by the greats of bebop, but from what I can hear, his influences range from standard jazz to fusion and free jazz, to hard bop, and even outside jazz proper to progressive rock, electronica, modern "classical" music, and just about everything else. To give an example, on his CD "Largo", he has a bunch of self-composed tracks which are fantastic, but he also covers Radiohead's "Paranoid Android", and the Lennon/McCartney tune "Dear Prudence".
I have two CDs of his that I want to write about today - the first being "Largo". This CD has gotten a lot of play in my car recently, and even Aaron was impressed enough with it to blog about it. I think that my favourite track is "Dusty McNugget", with its extremely laid-back feel, with a touch of funk. "Paranoid Android" is awesome as well, as is "Dear Prudence", which is a close second for best track. The last track, "I Do", is very reminiscent of some Billy Childs stuff I heard recently, and this track is just Mehldau and his piano. I can detect a touch of Gil Evans in the arranging done for this CD as well - very, very innovative, with some extremely interesting sounds and harmonies. This is a great CD for chilling out to.
The second CD is Metheny/Mehldau. This is a duet CD between the legendary jazz fusion guitarist Pat Metheny and Brad Mehldau. Save for two tracks, this CD is just Metheny and Mehldau. These two play together like nothing else I have ever heard - what goes on in this CD is pure, unadulterated magic. The tracks I currently like best are "Unrequited", "Ring of Life", "Say the Brother's Name", and my favourite, "Make Peace". I can't even describe how good this CD is - it's probably best labelled as fusion, but is very accessible to people who aren't intimately familiar with the inner workings of jazz genres. This is also great chill-out music, and chances are that even if you aren't a jazz fan, but appreciate good music, you will enjoy this CD.
So there you have it. Buy both of these CDs - you won't regret it. Here's a link to some of Mehldau's music on the Web.
And, just for fun, a YouTube of Mehldau!
-Matt

Breaking news

2007-05-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

This is it, people. Starcraft 2 has been announced. And, holy crap, it looks FANTASTIC!

short stories

2007-05-07T01:26:00.000-05:00

And now for something completely different!
This is a short story that I wrote as a Christmas present for one of my friends. I recently discovered the manuscript, and thought that I would share it with you, my dear readers!
Enjoy!

It was a typical day at Providence College. The birds were singing, the bell was ringing, and students were not receiving any mail in their boxes. Marilee Kauenhofen and her trusty sidekick, Lisa Rogalsky, were wandering through the Student Center, having a normal day. This normal day, however, would turn into a day that no one would forget.

“Wasn’t that a great concert last night?” said Marilee.

“Oh, yeah,” replied Lisa. “That Matt Neufeld is so good at French Horn, not to mention incredibly attractive as well!”

“I know,” said Marilee. “His technique is flawless, his hand position good, and…did you hear that?”

A hush fell over the Student Center as all turned towards the cafeteria doors. Then, they heard it again.

“AWOOOOOOooooooooooo….”

Lisa and Marilee clutched at each other. They could hear a loud, thumping sound coming from inside the cafeteria.

“I’m scared, Marilee!” quivered Lisa.

The thumping got louder and louder, and with a crash, the cafeteria doors burst open.

“Aaaah!” someone screamed.

“It’s….it’s…” stammered Marilee…

It was a manatee. But not just any manatee. Normally, manatees are docile sea cows that live off the coast of Idaho and eat fish, much to the enjoyment of Idaho’s manatee-watching tourists. Rather, this manatee was twice its normal size, fluorescent green, and coated with what appeared to be Shake ‘n Bake. It would later be discovered that this particular manatee had accidentally been caught in a fishnet, shipped off to a fish sticks processing plant. However, the manatee got caught in the machines, was made radioactive by the cooking attempt, covered in batter, and shipped off to Providence College as part of a large fish-patty order. However, when the Sodexho staff tried to cook the manatee, they awakened the graceful giant from its slumber. And, like I’m sure you would do if the cafeteria staff tried to cook you, it got angry.

Aieeee!” Lisa screamed. “It’s an angry radioactive manatee!”

Panic broke out in the school. Mike Schellenberg knocked over the entire women’s basketball team as he tried to escape. Jeremy Wat screamed and fainted dead away. Sara Matyas used her superpowers and teleported to safety in a puff of purple smoke.

“What do we do?” yelled Lisa.

Thinking quickly, Marilee grabbed Lisa and ran into the nearest hiding spot – the newly renovated first floor girls’ bathroom. As they slammed the door shut, they could hear the screaming outside quiet down as the Student Center cleared. Hearts beating rapidly, the girls listened as the manatee thumped around the school.

“What do we do, Marilee?” cried Lisa. “I’m not supposed to be eaten by a Manatee!”

“Quiet!” whispered Marilee. “I think it’s coming closer.”

And coming closer it was. Drawn by the scent of Marilee’s ever-present yet rarely washed scarf, the manatee lumbered towards the girls’ bathroom.

“Quick!” said Marilee. “It’s coming in!”

Lisa and Marilee scrambled to get away from the door, but it was too late. With the force of a hurricane, the angry manatee crashed through the door, sending Lisa and Marilee flying. When the smoke cleared, Marilee found herself lying by the sink, with the manatee towering over the stalls, a hungry look in its eyes.

Lisa screamed. “Help, Marilee!”

The manatee turned and spotted Lisa in the corner. Lisa was trapped! As the manatee slowly advanced on Lisa, Marilee had to think quickly. If only she hadn’t skipped the New Testament lecture on fighting wild sea cows! Then, it came to her. Thinking quickly, Marilee grabbed her Nalgene bottle, and filled it with cold water.

“Hey!” she yelled at the manatee. “Come get me, you tub of anchovy paste!”

The manatee turned to look at her.

“That’s right,” she yelled, “Come eat me, you big dumb tuna fish!”

With her last proclamation, she hurled her Nalgene bottle at the behemoth. The bottle flew through the air as if in slow motion. As Marilee watched, the bottle hit the manatee in the top of the head and bounced straight upwards. The manatee let out a roar of pain and started to charge, but before the beast could move, the Nalgene bottle hit the ceiling.

As we all know, Nalgene bottles are practically indestructible, except for one part: the cap. The bottle hit the ceiling in just the right way as to shatter the cap.

Water poured down on the manatee. It looked up in confusion, but a split second later, the manatee was obscured by a cloud of steam. A few seconds later, the manatee, with one last moan, toppled to the ground.

“Wow,” said Lisa, as Marilee helped her to her feet. “The radioactivity must have turned the water into steam, which cooked the batter, which in turn encased the manatee like so much cement! How did you do that?”

“Easy,” said Marilee. Then, she blinked. As the realization that she had just toppled a full-grown manatee hit, Marilee fainted dead away.

Lisa sighed. “That’s my roommate,” she said with a grin.

And that is how Marilee saved Prov from a rampaging, batter-encrusted radioactive manatee.

Okay, just a few clarifications. Marilee and Lisa were my official French Horn groupies that year. And I thought the concept of a rampaging manatee was hilarious. For those of you who don't know, a manatee is the least aggressive animal on the face of the planet. They are endangered mostly because they are too docile to move out of the way of boats!
Thanks for reading!

Something I just had to post

2007-04-30T17:34:00.000-05:00

I picked this up from jazzoasis.com. It's Pat Metheny's opinion on Kenny G. Read and enjoy!

Question:

Pat, could you tell us your opinion about Kenny G - it appears you were quoted as being less than enthusiastic about him and his music. I would say that most of the serious music listeners in the world would not find your opinion surprising or unlikely - but you were vocal about it for the first time. You are generally supportive of other musicians it seems.

Pat's Answer:

Kenny G is not a musician I really had much of an opinion about at all until recently. There was not much about the way he played that interested me one way or the other either live or on records.

I first heard him a number of years ago playing as a sideman with Jeff Lorber when they opened a concert for my band. My impression was that he was someone who had spent a fair amount of time listening to the more pop oriented sax players of that time, like Grover Washington or David Sanborn, but was not really an advanced player, even in that style. He had major rhythmic problems and his harmonic and melodic vocabulary was extremely limited, mostly to pentatonic based and blues-lick derived patterns, and he basically exhibited only a rudimentary understanding of how to function as a professional soloist in an ensemble - Lorber was basically playing him off the bandstand in terms of actual music.

But he did show a knack for connecting to the basest impulses of the large crowd by deploying his two or three most effective licks (holding long notes and playing fast runs - never mind that there were lots of harmonic clams in them) at the key moments to elicit a powerful crowd reaction (over and over again). The other main thing I noticed was that he also, as he does to this day, played horribly out of tune - consistently sharp.

Of course, I am aware of what he has played since, the success it has had, and the controversy that has surrounded him among musicians and serious listeners. This controversy seems to be largely fueled by the fact that he sells an enormous amount of records while not being anywhere near a really great player in relation to the standards that have been set on his instrument over the past sixty or seventy years. And honestly, there is no small amount of envy involved from musicians who see one of their fellow players doing so well financially, especially when so many of them who are far superior as improvisors and musicians in general have trouble just making a living. There must be hundreds, if not thousands of sax players around the world who are simply better improvising musicians than Kenny G on his chosen instruments. It would really surprise me if even he disagreed with that statement.

Having said that, it has gotten me to thinking lately why so many jazz musicians (myself included, given the right "bait" of a question, as I will explain later) and audiences have gone so far as to say that what he is playing is not even jazz at all. Stepping back for a minute, if we examine the way he plays, especially if one can remove the actual improvising from the often mundane background environment that it is delivered in, we see that his saxophone style is in fact clearly in the tradition of the kind of playing that most reasonably objective listeners WOULD normally quantify as being jazz. It's just that as jazz or even as music in a general sense, with these standards in mind, it is simply not up to the level of playing that we historically associate with professional improvising musicians. So, lately I have been advocating that we go ahead and just include it under the word jazz - since pretty much of the rest of the world OUTSIDE of the jazz community does anyway - and let the chips fall where they may.

And after all, why he should be judged by any other standard, why he should be exempt from that that all other serious musicians on his instrument are judged by if they attempt to use their abilities in an improvisational context playing with a rhythm section as he does? He SHOULD be compared to John Coltrane or Wayne Shorter, for instance, on his abilities (or lack thereof) to play the soprano saxophone and his success (or lack thereof) at finding a way to deploy that instrument in an ensemble in order to accurately gauge his abilities and put them in the context of his instrument's legacy and potential.

As a composer of even eighth note based music, he SHOULD be compared to Herbie Hancock, Horace Silver or even Grover Washington. Suffice it to say, on all above counts, at this point in his development, he wouldn't fare well.

But, like I said at the top, this relatively benign view was all "until recently".

Not long ago, Kenny G put out a recording where he overdubbed himself on top of a 30+ year old Louis Armstrong record, the track "What a Wonderful World". With this single move, Kenny G became one of the few people on earth I can say that I really can't use at all - as a man, for his incredible arrogance to even consider such a thing, and as a musician, for presuming to share the stage with the single most important figure in our music.

This type of musical necrophilia - the technique of overdubbing on the preexisting tracks of already dead performers - was weird when Natalie Cole did it with her dad on "Unforgettable" a few years ago, but it was her dad. When Tony Bennett did it with Billie Holiday it was bizarre, but we are talking about two of the greatest singers of the 20th century who were on roughly the same level of artistic accomplishment. When Larry Coryell presumed to overdub himself on top of a Wes Montgomery track, I lost a lot of the respect that I ever had for him - and I have to seriously question the fact that I did have respect for someone who could turn out to have such unbelievably bad taste and be that disrespectful to one of my personal heroes.

But when Kenny G decided that it was appropriate for him to defile the music of the man who is probably the greatest jazz musician that has ever lived by spewing his lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing all over one of the great Louis's tracks (even one of his lesser ones), he did something that I would not have imagined possible. He, in one move, through his unbelievably pretentious and calloused musical decision to embark on this most cynical of musical paths, shit all over the graves of all the musicians past and present who have risked their lives by going out there on the road for years and years developing their own music inspired by the standards of grace that Louis Armstrong brought to every single note he played over an amazing lifetime as a musician. By disrespecting Louis, his legacy and by default, everyone who has ever tried to do something positive with improvised music and what it can be, Kenny G has created a new low point in modern culture - something that we all should be totally embarrassed about - and afraid of. We ignore this, "let it slide", at our own peril.

His callous disregard for the larger issues of what this crass gesture implies is exacerbated by the fact that the only reason he possibly have for doing something this inherently wrong (on both human and musical terms) was for the record sales and the money it would bring.

Since that record came out - in protest, as insignificant as it may be, I encourage everyone to boycott Kenny G recordings, concerts and anything he is associated with. If asked about Kenny G, I will diss him and his music with the same passion that is in evidence in this little essay.

Normally, I feel that musicians all have a hard enough time, regardless of their level, just trying to play good and don't really benefit from public criticism, particularly from their fellow players. but, this is different.

There ARE some things that are sacred - and amongst any musician that has ever attempted to address jazz at even the most basic of levels, Louis Armstrong and his music is hallowed ground. To ignore this trespass is to agree that NOTHING any musician has attempted to do with their life in music has any intrinsic value - and I refuse to do that. (I am also amazed that there HASN'T already been an outcry against this among music critics - where ARE they on this?????!?!?!?!, magazines, etc.). Everything I said here is exactly the same as what I would say to Gorelick if I ever saw him in person. and if I ever DO see him anywhere, at any function - he WILL get a piece of my mind and (maybe a guitar wrapped around his head.)

NOTE: this post is partially in response to the comments that people have made regarding a short video interview excerpt with me that was posted on the internet taken from a tv show for young people (kind of like MTV)in poland where i was asked to address 8 to 11 year old kids on terms that they could understand about jazz. while enthusiastically describing the virtues of this great area of music, i was encouraging the kids to find and listen to some of the greats in the music and not to get confused by the sometimes overwhelming volume of music that falls under the jazz umbrella. i went on to say that i think that for instance, kenny g plays the dumbest music on the planet – something that all 8 to 11 year kids on the planet already intrinsically know, as anyone who has ever spent any time around kids that age could confirm - so it gave us some common ground for the rest of the discussion. (ADDENDUM: the only thing wrong with the statement that i made was that i did not include the rest of the known universe.) the fact that this clip was released so far out of the context that it was delivered in is a drag, but it is now done. (its unauthorized release out of context like that is symptomatic of the new electronically interconnected culture that we now live in - where pretty much anything anyone anywhere has ever said or done has the potential to become common public property at any time.) i was surprised by the polish people putting this clip up so far away from the use that it was intended -really just for the attention - with no explanation of the show it was made for - they (the polish people in general) used to be so hip and would have been unlikely candidates to do something like that before, but i guess everything is changing there like it is everywhere else. the only other thing that surprised me in the aftermath of the release of this little interview is that ANYONE would be even a little bit surprised that i would say such a thing, given the reality of mr. gs music. this makes me want to go practice about 10 times harder, because that suggests to me that i am not getting my own musical message across clearly enough - which to me, in every single way and intention is diametrically opposed to what Kenny G seems to be after.

Coming soon

2007-04-07T00:42:00.000-05:00

A new home for Accept No Substitutes!

Something interesting...

2007-03-17T10:58:00.000-05:00

I noticed that Eric Whitacre lists Imogen Heap as one of his top friends on his Myspace. Interesting, huh?

The world is coming to an end.

2007-03-07T14:56:00.000-06:00

We're all doomed.
I was driving home from school today, switched the radio on, and what did I hear?
Kenny G covering James Blunt's "You're Beautiful".
Blech.

Prairie Voices concert...again!

2007-02-09T22:04:00.000-06:00

This is the text of an email that I sent out just now. I figured I'd repost it for all of you who I don't have email addresses for.

Hi all,

I would like to cordially invite you to the Prairie Voices Winter Concert, entitled “Volare”, Italian for “fly”.

We will be performing works by Eric Whitacre, Moses Hogan, Healey Willan, Guido Lopez-Gavilan, and a new piece by Jussi Chydenius of Rajaton.

The concert is at 7:30 PM on Friday, March 2, 2007 at Knox United Church (400 Edmonton Street) in Winnipeg. The cost is $15 for adults, and $8 for students/seniors. You can get tickets by letting me know, or by purchasing one at the door.

I would hope that every one of you would be able to attend – it should be a good concert!

-Matt Neufeld

The best Super Bowl commercial of 2007.

2007-02-06T18:06:00.001-06:00

Check this out.

New Acquisitions

2007-02-04T14:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, Aaron and Caitlin and Amanda and I went to see some of the world's top commercials of 2006. Some highlights include:
This one, (Save the whales...or not)
This one, (the magic fridge)
This one (Pulp fiction in 30 Seconds).

After the show, we went to Carlos & Murphy's in Osborne Village. That place has really good Mexican food! Thanks to Third Floor for introducing me to this place!

Today Kyle (my youngest brother) took me to HMV and bought me some stuff for my birthday. Namely, a CD. It's Imogen Heap's Speak for Yourself. If you haven't heard of Imogen, go to her Myspace site and listen. Then buy this CD.
I also bought:
Chris Botti's To Love Again - a duets album, featuring many, many good people.
Run, Lola, Run for $7.99
and Edward Scissorhands for $9.99. Well worth the price!

In other news...

2007-01-27T18:38:00.000-06:00

I know I should post more, but life has been really busy. Seriously. I'm working 30 hours a week, singing in Prairie Voices, and going to school at approximately 80% of a full course load. And, for those of you who don't already know, I started dating someone this week. Her name is Amanda, and she is an International Development Studies major at CMU. And she's really cool too.
Also, an announcement:
Prairie Voices is having our Winter Concert on March 2nd at Knox United Church. It's at 7:30 PM(I believe). You can buy tickets from me, or at the door (but please buy them from me in advance so you can be sure you can get in!).
So this is my life so far. I hope all of you are doing well, and please feel free to email or call me - if you're reading this, I miss you!

I GOT IN!

2006-12-27T14:14:00.000-06:00

Here's some news I thought all of you would appreciate:
I have been accepted into the U of M Faculty of Music as a trumpet student starting next year.
I am ecstatic.

Quote of the Day

2006-12-15T00:10:00.000-06:00

"They may have a six month waiting list, but I have a six-foot-long python!"

...

OK, slightly paraphrased, but still worth it. Check out John Allison's other webcomic, Scary-go-round!

A Much-Needed Update!

2006-12-13T14:45:00.000-06:00

Hi all,
It's been far too long since I've posted anything. So here's my attempt at earning your forgiveness for not posting: a link to some of my music!
In other news, here's what's going on, and what has happened:
-Exams are done! Hooray!
-Prairie Voices sang with the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra this past weekend. Good times!
-I am auditioning for the School of Music at the University of Manitoba next week for trumpet and education stuff.
This is most of the big stuff. To everyone who I haven't seen in a while, please call or email me - I still care, I promise!
Next semester I will still be at CMU, which I am enjoying very much. Keep watching for Prairie Voices concert updates!
-Matt

Bad Mood?

2006-11-20T17:53:00.000-06:00

In a bad mood? Do a Google Image Search for baby penguins.
(Thank you, Something Positive.)

Greatest video games of all time

2006-11-01T16:49:00.000-06:00

I bought Half-Life 2 Episode 1 today. I'm waiting for it to download right now, so I figured I'd post about video games. Here's a list of my favourite video games ever (in no particular order).
1. Half-Life. What do I need to say?
2. Half-Life 2. Zombies and Ravenholm, and some of the best chase scenes ever. The ending was a little weird, and I wanted to fight a boss, but it was worth it.
3. Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Great story. Flawless gameplay. Replayable like crazy. Probably the best game ever made.
4. Zelda: Majora's Mask. Much, much darker than OoT, but the story was there. Kudos on the 3-day game mechanics - this was a puzzle in of itself.
5. Zelda: Link to the Past. Classic Zelda (are you noticing a pattern?)
6. Homeworld. I know some of you didn't like this (Aaron, cough!), but the story was fantastic and emotionally involving. Amazing use of cutscenes that were drawings (in between levels). Great game mechanics, too.
7. StarCraft (including Brood War). I put so much time into this game it isn't even funny anymore.
8. Chrono Trigger. Great story, replayable, fun as anything.
9. EarthBound (SNES). Funniest game ever. Whoever made this game had a warped sense of humour, but it made sense to me.
10. Harvest Moon (SNES). Most repetitive game ever. How could a game this tedious be so fun? I still have no idea, but the game is solid.
11. Super Monkey Ball (GCN). It's a monkey in a ball. What's not to love? This game has the best multiplayer modes for parties, especially for people who don't play games regularly.
12. Mario Kart 64. This was a well-made game. I still think it's better than Double Dash.
13. Donkey Kong Country (SNES). This was the first Nintendo game I ever finished. Donkey Kong 64 was pretty good, too.
14. Jet Force Gemini. A lesser-known game, but it had a great story. Great music, too.
15. X-Wing and TIE Fighter(PC). How could I forget this game? These were the most difficult games I have ever played.
16. Dark Forces and Jedi Knight. Lucasarts used to put out some solid games. What happened? I remember the first time I got to use a lightsaber...I was very excited.
Honourable mentions: Zelda: The Wind Waker for spectacular graphics, a good story, and the moment where everything except you is in black and white, and Pokemon, for the most addictive game ever.

Before you complain that "this video game isn't on your list", remember that I may not have played it. Feel free to add your favourites, though!
Also, I realize that there are no Mario games on here. Bite me.

Concert!

2006-10-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

Upcoming Prairie Voices concert!
Friday, October 20th at 7:30 pm
Knox United Church (400 Edmonton St.)
Cost: $8 for students/seniors, otherwise $10.
Call me or email me for tickets - this is a fundraiser for me too!
-Matt

A Much-Needed Update

2006-09-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's been a while since I've posted anything - life has been super busy. I'm taking 11 credit hours of courses at CMU, working 2 jobs, and singing in Prairie Voices - I'm extremely busy, but it's all so good!
Prairie Voices is awesome - the choir sounds fantastic already, and we've had 3 rehearsals! It's so nice to be in a choir where everyone wants to be there, and is a good singer too! We sound like we're 100 people, not 40. We're doing super modern stuff, but most of it is really neat stuff. We're doing some Eric Whitacre pieces, and they're really cool, but really tough.
CMU is pretty cool, too! I'm only taking music courses, so it's good for me, and I'm learning lots. I feel like I'm in over my head in one course - music since 1945, because I don't know anything about atonal music. Otherwise, it's smooth sailing.
And work is still good. I started teaching the jazz band at Prov this week - it was pretty cool, and I have some good players! I still need a rhythm section and trombones, though - I don't have anyone at all. If you want to play, or know someone...hook them up!
Just so you know, if I'm not talking to you right now, I don't hate you - it just means that I'm too busy to talk to anyone!
-Matt

Scratch that

2006-08-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

So, I'm not working for Starbucks anymore.
Instead, my dream job fell into my lap.
I'm now working at St. John's Music.
Oh yeah!

Yet another new job

2006-08-02T10:41:00.000-05:00

Some of you may be sorely disappointed with me for this, but I got a job at Starbucks today. Why Starbucks? It's close to home and I can work two days a week during the day. Plus the people there are around my age. And they play jazz in the store.
So here's my fall schedule:
Monday: Class in the morning, Prairie Voices in the evening
Tuesday: Work in the morning, jazz band in the evening
Wednesday: Class in the morning and evening
Thursday: Work in the morning, Prov jazz band in the evening
Friday: Class in the morning.
Saturday and Sunday: Who knows?
Pretty crazy, huh?

A visit with Elroy

2006-07-21T14:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to visit Elroy Friesen at the U of M. Many of you know Elroy, whether from singing with him or by hearing about him (or his choirs, particularly Prairie Voices, which I will be participating in next year, even though Kristel Peters is leading it now).
It was a good time catching up with Elroy - we had lots to talk about. I came away re-inspired to pursue music education, and I might just try again at U of M - who knows? Since Elroy is there, I might be able to give it another chance.
One neat thing that happened - Elroy had a bunch of extra music sitting in his office, and he was like, "Do you want this?" "This" was a box full of choral music - probably 400 or so songs. So now I have the beginnings of my own choral library, and lots of music to peruse and abuse. Yesterday was a good day.

Pet Professional

2006-07-16T01:00:00.000-05:00

I found a new webcomic - it's called Pet Professional. It has one of the most original concepts I've seen in a while - a hitman who kills animals. But not just any animal - pets. Household pets. It's hilarious. Apologies to you animal lovers out there, but this is just plain funny. Check it out.

Pirates! Gyaaarrrr!

2006-07-07T13:02:00.000-05:00

So last night I went out with my dad and brothers to see the 12:01 showing of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Here's my review:
I thoroughly enjoyed Pirates 2. It was full of action, explosions, humour, and more explosions, with an intriguing story to boot. The music was good, but nothing innovative was present - just classic Hans Zimmer. In terms of story: it's good. Some parts are a little hard to follow, but it's pretty straightforward.
So, for a good movie, but nothing really new brought to the table, I award Pirates 2 an 8.5/10.
In short: Go see this movie. You won't be disappointed.

New job

2006-07-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

Check this out.
As you can probably tell, I'm exceedingly happy right now.

Jazz Festival

2006-06-21T10:37:00.000-05:00

Hi all,
I've been meaning to post for a while, but unfortunately real life supercedes online life. Once I figure out how, I'll post some tour pictures.
In the meantime, the Winnipeg Jazz Festival has been going on. Last night I went with Steph to go see Michael Kaeshammer. As I told her several times, last night was the best night of my life - or at least pretty close. Michael Kaeshammer is a jazz pianist, in the boogie-woogie and stride tradition, and he absolutely blew me away with his playing. Solid tempo, soulful riffs, and a playing style so hot I thought the piano was going to burst into flames at any moment.
The pieces he played weren't that difficult chord-change-wise - most of them were 12 bar blues, but what made them so special is that he was playing unaccompanied for the first set, and his left hand work is absolutely spectacular. It was so fast that I had no idea how tendonitis didn't immediately set in for him. I guess the songs were dictated mostly by the second set, where he played with Harry Manx - a lap steel guitarist. I don't know what those things are capable of, but he didn't do anything tremendously virtuosic, so I think that's why the songs were kept easier. Easy changes, however, doesn't mean that it was easy. If you ever want to hear Michael Kaeshammer, just find me and I'll loan you one of his CDs - which are spectacular as well, but after hearing him last night, the CDs pale in comparison - although recorded jazz can never beat live.
If you ever get to see Michael Kaeshammer, do it. It'll be a night that you won't forget.

In Scotland!

2006-05-10T09:39:00.000-05:00

Hi all,
I'm writing this from a library in bonnie Scotland! I'm in Edinburgh, and it's the last leg of our tour. I will post some pictures when I get home, and I've got lots!
Well, until then, cheers!

Off to England

2006-04-24T23:55:00.000-05:00

As of yesterday, I am now allowed to do this:

Matt Neufeld, B.F.A.

Pretty neat, huh? Along with my degree, Prov gave me the Vocal Performance Award, and the Chris Derksen Memorial Scholarship. I think that's very hip.

In other news, I leave in seven hours for the UK! This year is a tour year for the College Singers, and we are touring to England and Scotland till May 15th. Pray for safety, fun, and health for all of us. For our itinerary, go here.
I'll see all of you in a month!

And I'm done

2006-04-12T13:15:00.001-05:00

Wow - it's been a while since I posted. Sorry - life's been too busy to blog.
Here's what's been up in the last 3 weeks:
Approximately 50 pages of papers due.
A wedding in Saskatchewan.
My grad recital.
Spring Concert (which I wrote the final combined piece for).

Life's been busy.

However, today marked a milestone in my life: I handed in my last assignment ever at Providence College. I handed in 2 BS Methods papers today, and that was it. No fanfare, no weeping or gnashing of teeth - just a feeling of relief. And relief is what I need most.

In other news - United Kingdom in 13 days! That'll be good fun, and a great way to end my time at Prov.

One more thing: The word of the day for me is "fantastic".